


Waiting

by terror_the_bearer



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Reylo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-08-18 09:41:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8157635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/terror_the_bearer/pseuds/terror_the_bearer
Summary: : to stay in a place until an expected event happens, until someone arrives, until it is your turn to do something, etc.Kylo has a nightmare and sees Rey.“You don’t know how lucky you are, do you? With just one word for forgiveness; if you ever decide to come back wherever and whenever you want, there are people who would welcome you back, regardless of what you’ve done. You don’t know how lucky you are.”





	

 

He was dreaming. Red light glared bright. He felt twisted sense of pride at the oppression of his emotions and satisfaction of being above everyone else. The dark side has always been dualistic in its esse; cold yet passionate – a conduit for emotions they hoarded away. Its pith and core were magnificent but alluring like harmful poison, grandiose like the power of ocean but painful and consuming as its crushing pressure. Held in his hand, not blue, but red throbbing lightsaber and torn between exuberance and chaos, he slayed down his obstructions – humans and aliens alike. He is swollen up by their blood and shadows and his sword blended with blood and fire.

His dream was of his past and present. He wasn’t injured physically, but the so slight hunch of his back and the stiffness of his shoulder configure an echo of a wounded beast and a perverse glimpse of tiny shred of hurt underneath his impenetrable armour. Walking the same path, slaughtering the same victims, even when he appreciated they were living creatures than mundane impediment didn’t stymie his actions. The light and dark stood side to side by him, burning, tearing him apart. Fitfully, he saw the two as a same entity. Neither was completely his, nor could he wilfully choose; harrowing chains that pushed and pulled him.

Only thing he could clearly perceive; distinguish regardless of any situations was his father’s death.

He dreamt of his father’s death, repeatedly. It had been intentional despite the sudden activation of his lightsaber that impaled Han’s chest. Kylo could still feel the powerful pulsating hums of his sword that glowed brighter than usual. The man had caressed his face before his body fell down into the crevice on Starkiller Base. His weapon had stabbed Han Solo. He expected strength but felt only horror and weakness. Even so, it had done what he desperately wanted. There was nowhere to go now but into the darkness; nowhere to go back to.

But Rey caught Kylo.

Precisely it was his lightsaber that she gripped onto. She latched onto his guard and her face scrunched into frown at the prickly heat emitting from the lateral vents. Slight change in the angle would burn her hands. Kylo Ren looked at her incomprehensibly when it became apparent she had no intention of taking his weapon.

“You don’t know how lucky you are, do you?”

She bore witness to his nightmare from their bond and decided to interrupt. Kylo lifted his face.

“With just one word for forgiveness; if you ever decide to come back, wherever and whenever you want, there are people who would welcome you back, regardless of what you’ve done. You don’t know how lucky you are.”

His fine lip thinned, “There’s no one that will welcome me back; only darkness. The place I truly belong.”

“Luke is waiting for you.”

At that moment, there was a powerful spark of force that sent Rey staggering backward. In flash, Kylo stood face to face with Luke; both expressionless as they regarded each other yet there seemed to myriad of flowing emotions one could not fathom existed within the galaxy between them before it disconnected. Rey truly believed Kylo didn’t enjoy destroying what would have been his uncle’s legacy; rather he did it out of obligation to his fallacious reason just as he did to Han. He was the epitome of paradox; someone who would fall to the ground while standing, seek light in darkness and darkness in light.

“You also have a mother. She’s waiting for you too.”

Rey could feel the heat sizzling against her hands, but she only gripped it tighter.

“…And, even the dead can wait for someone.”

Rey always thought, if you have no living waiting for you, then the dead could wait in its stead. Rey truly believed it. She entertained the thought often, using it as a reason why her parent hadn’t come back for her. Maybe they had died and were waiting for her in their eternal rest. That she hadn't truly been abandoned but fate had been cruel by collecting her parent before they could come back. 

Kylo twisted his wrist, in doing so left a scorching scar across her hand and Rey had to let go of his lightsaber. He could have severed her hand but didn’t.

“I do not wait for anyone.”

“I’m jealous. You wait for no one but you have so many people waiting for you. I wonder how that feels, to know and be waited for by someone than waiting endlessly.” There was a sad sincerity in her voice and a hint of darkness at his selfish answer. Kylo could feel it through their bond. Jealousy, envy, resentment and bitterness as he so easily threw away everything Rey yearned. As if he were self-centred, inconsiderate boy throwing away valuable treasures without truly knowing its significance.

His dream ended and Kylo Ren awoke from his sleep.

Before Rey came along, the only spectator to his dream was only himself. In the past, his dream was like watching the same holograms segueing to its finish and in his unconscious state, he found he was unable to decode his emotions. He had believed he was progressing. He felt proud that becoming numb to the worse of his emotions was his complete initiation to the dark side and duty as the Master of Knight of Ren.

But now the girl – a mere scavenger from Jakku whose whereabouts remained ambiguous – even at the expanse of hurting herself was awakening his awareness. Stirring emotions he believed he obviated through years of isolation and suffering.

A light flashed in his communication device, an officer alerting him they have arrived at the designated planet. He began to dress in silent.

_“You don’t know how lucky you are, do you?”_

He slipped on his gloves.

_“I’m jealous.”_

 His muscles coiled. With his lightsaber tucked into his belt, his new helmet stood in front of him.

_“Having people that wait for you.”_

He answered to her voice, “You’ll wait for me as well.”

The battle to usurp the last remaining light has begun. From now on, Kylo Ren will become crueller. That is the path one had to take in order to devour the light.


End file.
